The After Party

Since I’ve moved over here and become un-google-able, I’ve gotten lots of e-mails and comments (from the other site) from people who’ve never commented before. I can’t imagine reading a blog that allows comments and never ever commenting. That’s just me. I have opinions and love a good discussion/debate, even online. So if you’re one of the people who read and never comment, dammit comment!! Also, I would like to thank the people who do comment. And when there’s disagreement–which there is often–those folks are respectful enough to focus on differing ideas and not trying to denegrate the person whose ideas differ from theirs. (more…)

Since we’ve spent this week–yesterday–talking relationships and dating, and I was without a suitable topic, I shall offer people dating tips today. Before I get into that though, it is becoming painfully clear that a person who habitually does nice things for others gets a bad rap. The guy who opens doors?? He’s the nice guy who people say will finish last. Bullshyt. My boy always says, “No, nice guys get nice girls.” I tend to agree. The girl who always fixes her man’s plate? Well she’s a doormat. Bullshyt. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I always fix Manfriend’s plates. Why? I don’t mind. Plus, and I’m sure he will read this, I don’t like him in my kitchen messing things up. Matter of fact, I have other friends who I offer to serve simply because they drop shyt everywhere. Tell me how rice can get way on the floor by the fridge that is a few feet away from the stove? Tell me why some people can’t scoop soup into a bowl and return the damn spoon to the spoonrest! (more…)

Last night the girls and I went out. So many things happened and yes X, I did make notes on a napkin. One of my notes: How many men does it take to hang a moon? I don’t know if I ever said it out loud or when I wrote it down. But I did. The napkin’s sitting right here beside me.

I was minding my business, reaching my newly established two-gimlet drink limit when a dude walks over to me. He reaches out and shakes my hand. He tells me I look familiar. (Likely story) Then he tells me that we met at his nephew’s house. I’m still like, “Uh, ok, if you say so.” Then he tells me his name. Still, I’m like, “Duh.” Then he gives me his nephew’s first and last name…TXXX HXXXX (Some of you know him as Sir-Whores-A-Lot). To which I’m still like, “Who?” We exchanged a couple of awkward glances because I still had no freaking idea who the hell this TXXX person was. As I was turning back around, the first person I saw was Edwige and that’s when it hit me–only because her and him live(d) not far from one another. Has it been that long that I don’t even know his freaking name? At the time we were ‘dating’ this man hung the moon for me. And today, just like a few years after, I didn’t even recognized his name. Bwahahahahahaaa!! Can you tell I’m so over it? (more…)

Let’s imagine for a moment that we live in a world where owning a widget is damn near mandatory for each household to run. Imagine there are only three widget companies in your city. Imagine each of those companies offers widget delivery, widget insurance, and widget warranties. Now let’s imagine that your city only has two sides of town. Like most real cities, one side of town has a higher crime rate than the other. Now, let’s go a step further and say that one side of town has a population that doesn’t have English as their first language. But keep in mind, all widget instructions, warranties, and general widget related materials are written in English. Confused? (more…)

You ever get to a party and the radio is playing. You see where the DJ would be if he was there. The table, the space. Then about 30 minutes later, he gets there. And then you wait another 30 minutes for him to get his stuff unloaded. And another 30 for him to get set up? After all the hype (and by ‘hype’ I mean vacay lie and special invitations), I find myself with nothing to write about. So let me look to the newspaper and other blogs for inspiration. Be right back… (more…)

This weekend was fabulous. Fabulous I tell ya!! Fabulous like having a snow day when you have a test you didn’t study for. I did nothing but relax on Friday. And that was good. But Saturday, it was great. Granted, during the day I didn’t accomplish anything I was trying to accomplish. Manfriend’s gifts still haven’t been purchased. I still don’t have my book club book!! And dammit if I didn’t even get to look for new black boots.

Saturday evening, I volunteered with a group of friends. Where were we?? The juvenile detention center. And surprisingly, it was a lot of fun. When we got there as we stood waiting to be escorted from the lobby into the area we’d meet the kids, we realized we probably have zilch in common with these kids. What would we talk about? (more…)