The DJ Is Still Setting Up
You ever get to a party and the radio is playing. You see where the DJ would be if he was there. The table, the space. Then about 30 minutes later, he gets there. And then you wait another 30 minutes for him to get his stuff unloaded. And another 30 for him to get set up? After all the hype (and by ‘hype’ I mean vacay lie and special invitations), I find myself with nothing to write about. So let me look to the newspaper and other blogs for inspiration. Be right back…
OK, I have a topic!! Inner-circle screwing. I make it a rule to not screw my frociates. Why? For several reasons but the first being that I’m not attracted to them in any way. But that’s just me. Also, there is no way in the frying f*ck I could screw some dude I hang out with then have him around my man!!! Hellous Nous!!!!! But that’s just me!!! There’s no way I could screw a frociate then be around this frociate and his new(est) woman. Again, that’s just me!! Manfriend has asked me about one person in particular. And hellous nous I wouldn’t let his unclothed penis near me!!! But it’s something in the way this guy looks at me. Yuck!! As a man though, how would you feel if you found out you were kicking it on the regular with several dudes your woman screwed? And how does a broad pull that off??
I believe that when you meet your SO’s group(s) of friends, if you sit back, shut up, and watch, you can tell exactly who they have screwed, tried to screw, etc. You can just tell. You can even look and see which chick is his type. You can tell by the way the people interact with you. So what I don’t get is how a person can kick it on the regular with people who have run all up and through the SO. Do you just choose not to see?? Especially when it’s not a secret?? Especially when EVERYONE knows??
Another topic?? Christmas gifts!!! I only had three gifts to buy this year. Actually, three people were slated to get something from me. My mom. I sent her some clothes on Saturday. My brother. I will likely just deposit some money in his account this week. And Manfriend. His things were purchased last night. I’m done. Did I wrap anything? Nope!!! One thing I bought came gift wrapped. My mom’s stuff was lovingly placed in a box, sans tissue paper, the gift receipt was taped to an item, and shipped. Not one bit of flair added. Manfriend?? Without saying too much cus he reads this and has been asking what Iwas getting him for th elast two weeks, I might put one of those peel and stick bows on one of his, as of right now, things.
When I buy gifts, I get things people said they liked or wanted. However, I don’t just do it all willy-nilly. At one point, Manfriend wanted an iPod. Before I rushed out and got him one, I thought about how he really is. He doesn’t like to sit still. He would never sit and download music. Just wouldn’t happen. So no iPod for him. My mom had been yammering about clothes and only having stuff to wear to work. I got her clothes. My brother had mentioned some boots he wanted. Am I going to bother to hunt the stores for the boots? Heckie naw!!! I will send him money and he can do with it what he pleases. Cus nothing says, “I love you but ain’t trying to spend 100+ hours in a mall.” like cash! Can’t you tell how unfestive I am?
Give me some topics!! I need inspiration dammit!
Hmmm… I’ve screwed some frociates, but for the most part, we don’t hang like that. And moreover, they don’t know my lady friend. These folks may know of each other, but that’s the furthest it goes. But maybe that’s because lady friend has only been around for a couple months. We’ll see. I do know that with some frociates it would be hella awkward if we all got together with my lady on the regular… [Okay, did I just say anything at all?]
You purchased about 3 more christmas/holiday gifts than I did! I’m sure your people will be happy.
[This is a first - I’ve never been the first one to comment on your blog before. Do I get a prize?]
The joy and general satisfaction of being first can not., should not, be over-shadowed by a typical prize!!!
Comment by Massander — December 21, 2005 @ 3:e pm
Yo, no sleeping where I eat. Heck, after we have relations, there is always this uneasiness, like ‘next time we’re alone we gonna screw’, and I hate that. Tell you a story, had the 1 ‘yeah we did it’ and the (at the time) gf in the same room…can we say sweat, call girl, and sunday service? No fun. bad for business (and we know how important business is to me.)
btw-i have 6 gifts to buy, can we say checks and gift cards? “Merry Christmas, Nukka!”, Riley-Boodocks
I think some people use their friendship pool for screwing because it’s easy. Think about it. You don’t rwally have to pop too much game. You are already cool. Already know you have things in common. Or, and this is where it gets fugged up, some people (men and women) do it because they know when a person is vulnerable.
Comment by arauh-e-double-d — December 21, 2005 @ 4:e pm
woman get out of my head! i blogged about this just last night. you are not allowed to scare me by blogging on the same topic as me. that said, i will try to summarize what i said - the idea of interhomie relations and love gives me the willies, as i would rather keep friendships and my rep intact than wind up with caught feelings and bitterness in the place of a friendship. and um. i will do the rest of my christmas shopping tonight for my cousin’s kids. my best friends will get their stuff after i the holiday so i can get their stuff on sale (and cause i ain’t trying to spend all night in the mall tonight.)
See!!! I didn’t even check your blog before I wrote this. I was inspired by another convo I was having with my girl. Maybe the stars are aligning in a way that has us thinking similar thoughts. I wonder if people who do screw in-circle ever thought they wouldn’t?
Comment by glory — December 21, 2005 @ 4:e pm
I’m with you, couldn’t (and wouldn’t!) do it. Also, I am not attracted to my male friends. Yes, I can say some of them are attractive people, but I am not drawn to them sexually.
Comment by Polichick — December 21, 2005 @ 5:e pm
Well, I don’t know if this is on topic or what. However, I had a birthday party last year and invited a few exes and the current (at that time) manfriend. Imagine how I felt with all of them in the same room. Just praying nobody said nothing to nobody.. Lucky for me, all the exes stayed in their place and all was well.
Yeah you did sorta go a bit off topic. But I’ll work with you…I have had a few ex ‘dates’ in the same room. And I was unphased by it. However, none of these dudes traveled in teh same circles…Notice how I brought it back to the topic. Just joshing with you.
Comment by Vicki — December 21, 2005 @ 8:e pm
LOL- catching strokes with your friends is as wrong as cashing in your IRA or your 401K for a vacation. It should be used judiciously. I mean, c’mon folks- this is your “break-glass-in-case-of-emergency’ pool. It should be a last resort when you turn like 35 (for women) and you’re still looking for love or if you lose your job and your hair and suffer from temporary ED for men (at the same time!).
But of course this all assumes that you are friendly with a league of extraordinary gentlemen (TKS, 2005). If not- the only thing you should share is the check at the bar.
Just saying is all!
And all I’m saying is, “Don’t be using my real name all willy-nilly!!! Hold up, my boy DJ’s at a cafe. I wonder if he waits tables too.
Comment by Mutumia — December 21, 2005 @ 8:e pm
PS. the DJ remark- obviously you need to visit the Ghana Cafe (Adams Morgan). The waiter @ 10 pm transforms into the DJ and you have to settle the tab with him and make requests (for songs) all at the same time. You see him setting up the tables for the next waiter and also the turn tables…
Wickie wickie wickie-shaddup! Where’s my drink?
Comment by Mutumia — December 21, 2005 @ 8:e pm
Well… this topic is interesting. I’ve done this before and regreted it later. I remember this one event with a group of friends–paint balling and looking at the group … my ex.. was there and dude i “had a good time with some nights” too. How uncomfee was that? Very. And By rumors could look around and was like~hey isnt that so and so’s man or girl. Um Um Um.. (shaking my head) Slowing down and doing the right thing is not easy.
Uh sweetie, let’s re-read our comments before we hit ’send’. I made the corrections I could figure out. But, the sentence that starts, ‘And By rumors…’ I couldn’t figure that one out.
Comment by The Rambler — December 21, 2005 @ 8:e pm
Once you screw a frociate they cease to be a frociate, no matter how much you want to kid yourself.
You know!!! but even if you could get around that, why bring your new person around?? Why encourage the frociate(s) to be friends with your new person? Maybe it’s an ego thing. But I think it’s very dangerous and if you care at all about the new person, you shouldn’t want to put him/her in that situation.
Comment by the bachelor — December 21, 2005 @ 8:e pm
I never understood the whole “I’ve screwed all my male friends” thing. *shaking head* But I will say that while I think you’re right, about always being able to tell when people have at least THOUGHT about screwing, I do think that sometimes signals can get crossed. But yeah, you can usually tell when there is an attraction and it can be what’s said, but a lot of times I think what is NOT said is more damning. Like when people ignore each other kind of blatantly… it usually makes me raise an eyebrow and look at them twice.
And sex with friends just screws it all up to be damned. It’s rarely worth it. I’ve seen PERFECT friendships just get FUBARed because of what people thought would, or could be just a casual screw. *shaking head*
I’m sooo jealous that you’re done shopping. I am supposedly shopping in NY (soooo much easier) - but I’mma need Bloomberg to stop walking across damn bridges and work this whole strike situation out!!!! BLAH!
Comment by Xquizzyt1 — December 22, 2005 @ 3:e am
I never understood the whole “I’ve screwed all my male friends” thing. *shaking head* But I will say that while I think you’re right, about always being able to tell when people have at least THOUGHT about screwing, I do think that sometimes signals can get crossed. But yeah, you can usually tell when there is an attraction and it can be what’s said, but a lot of times I think what is NOT said is more damning. Like when people ignore each other kind of blatantly… it usually makes me raise an eyebrow and look at them twice.
And sex with friends just screws it all up to be damned. It’s rarely worth it. I’ve seen PERFECT friendships just get FUBARed because of what people thought would, or could be just a casual screw. *shaking head*
I’m sooo jealous that you’re done shopping. I am supposedly shopping in NY (soooo much easier) - but I’mma need Bloomberg to stop walking across damn bridges and work this whole strike situation out!!!! BLAH!
Comment by Xquizzyt1 — December 22, 2005 @ 3:e am
There should never be a time when those lines cross…it will always be uncomfortable, hurt feelings, etc.
Comment by Icey — December 22, 2005 @ 4:e am
Multiple inner circle screwing is a no no. It reminds me of that syphillis chart that I saw on Law and Order with the one host and all the lines…or BC’s R. Kelly Trapped In the Closet powerpt.
I dated one guy that I was friends with and you’re right. I wonder and I’m pretty sure that my current SO would be able to tell in a group setting, but I don’t think that it would be because of anything that my ex and I do. It would be because our friends will look at my ex to see if he has a reaction. But that shouldn’t be a big deal. Now if my crew was looking from guy…to guy…to guy….to guy…to guy for a reaction…that’d be yucky.
Oh, and I’m cracking up about the DJ intro because yesterday when you didn’t post, I was gonna comment about you inviting us to a party and then leaving.
Comment by Beloved — December 22, 2005 @ 4:e am
Screwing in the inner circle? Not A Good Look…at all. I loved the DJ intro also…
Comment by Monk — December 22, 2005 @ 6:e am
Ok, I commented yesterday, but it was eaten by cyberspace. I don’t remember it all so I will sum it up.
Yeah, not screwing guys in your friend circle is a good idea! In the end you could end up losing your man and your friend.
And for gifts I am almost done. I have to get my 14 year old niece a gift card. (kinda like cash) I don’t want to have to snatch a gift back from her for being ungrateful for my 100+ hours in the mall trying to get hher a great gift.
Comment by Cool AC — December 22, 2005 @ 2:e pm