I feel you about your friend. I look around at young women today and wonder, where is the sense of style? I even hated watching my spouse get dressed in casual clothes when she was a high school teacher.

Years earlier, when she worked for a non-profit out west, she dressed slammingly. While on a trip to Chicago, I bought her a ton of nice stuff, including plently of leather, which she gradly rocked.

A new roommate, a lady who’s a longtime friend of my landlady, moved in last week. As she was pulling her car into the driveway I found myself going to the garage to help move her stuff in, although I’ll admit it took a few seconds for my brain to register my azz needed to help out. Glad I did.

Let’s face it: most dudes are tricking. It’s no wonder, since men figure out from an early age that society measures their worth by their wealth.

We do agree that being independent is relative. I’ve had and believe I always will have a support system around me so that I don’t HAVE to do everything myself and be independent. Independence is just not how I operate. When I was single, if my car needed anything more than a minor repair, my dad would come get my car (from another state) and take it to get fixed. Sure I could have gone and gotten it fixed myself but he was happy to do it rather than me potentially get ripped off and/or be inconvenienced by not having a car to drive. When I lived on the west coast and he wasn’t nearby, there was always some fatherly type at my job who had no problem going out to the parking lot to look at my car and give advice. I think the main difference is that I didn’t EXPECT to have to do everything myself not even when I was single.

Now that I’m married, my husband handles the car stuff. He doesn’t let my car get to the point where something is needed ASAP and he makes sure everything at our house/cars is in order if he has to go out of town. Accordingly, if I have to go out of town, I make sure he has clean clothes and groceries before I leave.

I didn’t have man-friends doing things for me. Like you said, they want booty. I had/have genuine friends who happened to be male. As to where I found them, the vast majority I found circa college/grad school but a few were coworkers.

Yes…when I’m home alone and have been shopping I bring my bags in. When my husband is home…I open my truck door and before I step out of it good…he’s at the back of it getting out the bags.

I don’t lift heavy things. I could. But I don’t. Even when I used to go to Sam’s…when I needed to get a case of water…a man would put it on the basket for me. If it’s an employee…they always ask will I need help outside.

How do I do this? By being me. I don’t have a problem making eye contact with people nor do I have a problem smiling and speaking. NOR…do I have a problem ASKING for help. It doesn’t lesson my strength. I am stronger BECAUSE of it.

I do NOT have a problem being a girl. In fact…I LOVE it. I know what works for me doesn’t work for a lot…but I still think it’s a shame it doesn’t. Truly.

I say this with love : Being independent is all relative. As a single woman, I don’t call taking my car to get an oil change being independent. I call it common sense. And that’s not going to change when I get married. If my husband is not in town and my oil needs to be changed ASAP, it will get changed by me driving the darn car to the shop. If he’s around and can take it, he can wash it while he’s at it .

Single women, there’s nothing wrong with having man-friends who can take care of things for you and not expect anything in return but a cooked meal every now and then. However, let me know when/where you find these men! I fired all my man-friends. They’re useless when they’re not getting booty in return. Hmmph.

As for chivalry, naw it ain’t dead. The question is is it still being bred. When my mother came home for grocery shopping, she lifted nary a bag out of her car. Her coming in the house was my cue to go outside and unload the car. That goes for door opening and etc etc chivalrous etc stuff. When one is raised that way, then one usually maintains that behavior. So it isn’t that men aren’t chivalrous dot dot dot the end; it’s that boys aren’t taught to be chivalrous as boys so they aren’t when they get the grownitis.

As for the it ain’t trickin if you got it. I say hogwash! (with caveats) If a dude is a millionaire and he spends $20,000 on a date to impress the draws off some young lady, then he is trickin. Yes he’s got it.. and yes he’s trickin. If a dude spends half of his salary on an engagement ring for the women he loves… HER…. he ain’t trickin at all. If a dude charges up his Platinum Visa with shopping sprees to at the local Saks in order to impress ol girl with his bigballerisms… he is trickin. But if a dude spends significant change from his play fund for vacations or whatever and expects nothing in return… that is not the trickerage.

Trickin is all about intent. When that prince/king dude married Lisa Raye? That was trickin. If you spend loot for azz, draws, trophy wives/dates, fake azz impressions etc etc… you, my friend are trickin. If you spend loot that you have on folks with no ulterior motives, t’aint.

I don’t care to be INdependent. I prefer to be INTERdependent. There is a difference. I need my husband and he needs me and neither of us are afraid to admit it.

I certainly don’t claim to be independent, because I’ve learned the hard way that I while I can stand on my own…it certainly helps to have support.

I think the sentence speaks for itself and mirrors everyone else’s opinions on here.

Let’s not draw a permanent line between being independent and being a lady. Nothing wrong with being both, and it is possible. A true WOMAN knows how to balance both.